Cake, Candle, Wishes and the People.

Today is my birthday. 31st of May 2012,. I am 20 already. I'm no more teenager. I'm about to learn how to be more adult and mature as my age increases and I also grow older. Directly proportional, we said right ? :)

Here, I want to tell you guys that I can never measure how much I appreciated your efforts to wish me birthday. Some of you included photos in your wish. Honestly, this maybe the best birthday wishes I've ever had for 20 years I breathe. I got hundreds wishes. Mostly from social network ( FB and Twitter ). The rest came from contacts in my mobile. My classmates did bring me to picnic at Sg Chiling near Bukit Fraser and they sang for me. My mommy wished me the best of life, sister and cousin also sent their wishes. Mr boyfriend ? Haha, he is the first person and the most excited person maybe.

I'm too tired for now. In another entry, I'll post some pictures of birthday presents I get, the picnic and also the best wishes from the best friends in my life.

Thank you.  May Allah bless us all forever. Amin.

Hargailah Ia.

Orang lain tak dapat benda ni. Kita dapat. Orang lain tak merasa pun. Kita merasa. Orang lain tak jumpa pun benda ni. Kita jumpa. Orang lain tak dapat beli. Kita beli. Orang lain tak puas. Kita puas. Orang lain bersyukur sgt. Kita jarang bersyukur.

Cuba teka apa benda ni ? Sesuatu yang kita perlukan. Keperluan asas dalam hidup. Sesuatu yang kalau kita boleh mati tanpanya. Boleh sakit. Boleh jadi gila. Kalau kita tak jumpa benda ni satu hari, majoriti manusia mahu pun binatang, lemah tak berdaya. Fikiran pun asyik terfikirkan benda ni drpd makwe atau pakwe sendiri.

MAKANAN dan MINUMAN !

Bagi sesetengah manusia, benda ni bukan susah pun nak cari. Sebab kat tempat dia mudah dia jumpa. Tak pun, dia banyak duit and dia boleh guna duit dia untuk order ke apa ke.. Upah org lain tolong belikan ke.. Ye tak ? Tuuuu.. yang jauhhhhhhh kat sana tu. Afrika, India, Zimbabwe, Sudan, Palestin, Iraq dan banyak lagi tempat... Bagi mereka, nak jumpa air bersih pun payah subhanallah ! Apatah lagi nak jumpa makanan ! Bukan nak kata lapar. KEBULUR terus. Kita lapar. Dorang kebulur. Lain kan ? Kita yang dapat makan ubi cicah gula petang2 hari pun merungut. Tak class, tak sedap, takde khasiat, takde tu takde ni, dasar makanan zaman Jepun lah apa lah. MERUNGUT ! Padahal MAKANAN DEPAN MATA JE TU !

 [[ Btw, sy mmg suka mkn ubi rebus cicah gula pun. Sbb tu mensi kat sini. Hihi ]]

Kenapa ? Kenapa merungut ? Apa salah ubi tu ? Tatkala makanan lain takde untuk dihidangkan, ubi tu sanggup korbankan hayat dia di dalam tanah untuk direbus / digoreng semata mata nak bagi kita kenyang. Belum lg mak ayah. Dorang takde duit nak bagi kita makan ayam golek, ketam, sotong, udang.. Makanan yang mewah2. Ada setengah orang tu, berlagak ! " Err.. Sorry, I duduk London 3 tahun ni.. Perut I tak biasa lah makan nasi. I suka spaghetti. " Dah dapat nasi pun stilllllll... Haih.. :(

Kita selalu perasan ada sesetangah orang yg bwk keluarga dia pergi makan kat restoran biasa je.. Tapi anak2 dia SERONOK MCM PERGI PERGI PAVILION. Cuba bwk dorang g Pavi, agak2 mcm mana lah reaksi dorg kan dapat pijak kat tempat 6 bintang tu ? Saya yang menaip ni pun tak berapa nak mampu sangat nak g sana. Barang berjenama antarabangsa sahaja.

Ada sekali tu, saya tertengok satu episod Bersamamu TV3. Family ni memang miskin sangat. Mkn nasi hari2 lauk garam. Ya tuan tuan dan puan puan, LAUK MEREKA ADALAH GARAM. Kita ? Toksah cakap lah. Mak kita masak ikan goreng je pun kita dah bising mak malas nak masak. Lepas tu, TV3 bawak dorang g 1 restoran luar lah.. Yg ala2 Thailand Seafood tu kann.. TV3 orderkan banyak makanan untuk dorang. Saya perasan yang dorang nak sentuh makanan tu pun dorang segan sangat sangat. Makan pun tertunduk tunduk. Sampai mcm tu sekali bila dapat makan mewah. Sedih.

Ada lagi satu episod, rumah pun dorang takde. Dorang tinggal dalam 1 van buruk yang dorang jumpa kat dalam ladang kelapa sawit. Dorang kemas sikit asalkan dapat tidur dalam tu. Makan nasi tu pun seciput je. Lauk HARI HARI SIPUT BABI MASAK CILI PADI. Anak lelaki sulung dorang yang carikan kat tepi2 batu tu. Siput babi tu. Euuwww.. Kalau korang, korang nak makan ke ? Ubi rebus tak sentuh lagi lah nak makan siput babi kan ? Haha. Kesian korang ni. Bukan dorang yang kesian. Korang.

Pengalaman saya sendiri. Saya ni belajar kat Unisel. Dah sem 6 dah. Sem 6 ni sem pendek. So bila kami dah masuk Unisel, yang lain masih cuti. Kami je yang ada kat sini. Restoran, warung, kedai semua tutup. Duit ada ni tapi kedai makan haram nak bukak. Tak untung lah nak bukak kan ? Student tak ramai. Pertama kali dalam hidup. Terasa susah sangat nak jumpa makanan. Air pun harapkan air mesin tu. Masukkan RM2, dapatlah sebotol. Masa tu subhanallah.... MasyaAllah ! Kenapa ttbe rasa sempit sgt ni ? Lapar gilaa. Sampaikan kiteorg terpaksa jalan kaki pergi kampung belakang Unisel harap2 ada kedai bukak. Agak jauh lah pasar malam dia. Tak pun makan maggi.

Entri kali ni bukan nak perli atau nak tuju kat sesiapa. Saja saya buat sbb saya baru lepas makan sebenarnya ni. Then teringat kat org lain yg belum makan. Entah entah tak dapat makan. Bersyukur lah kita masih dikurniakan kesihatan, sekurang2nya mampu bernafas. Ada makan minum yang walaupun mungkin tak cukup tapi badan kita tak melidi. Kepada sesiapa yang rasa dia gemuk tu, bersyukurlah badan anda sihat. Nampak sgt anda cukup makan dan minum. Jangan lupa ucapkan ALHAMDULILLAH ya ? Untuk segala yang Allah dah bagi kat kita. Baik atau buruk. Ada hikmahnya.

" Lebih baik kita tak makan daripada makan makanan yang halal tapi dari sumber yang haram. Renung-renungkan dan selamat beramal "

                              

Aku ingin menjadi mimpi indah dalam tidurmu

Aku ingin menjadi sesuatu yg mungkin bisa kau rindu

Karena langkah merapuh tanpa dirimu

Oh karena hati tlah letih

Aku ingin menjadi sesuatu yg selalu bisa kau sentuh

Aku ingin kau tahu bahwa ku selalu memujamu

Tanpamu sepinya waktu merantai hati

Oh bayangmu seakan-akan

Kau seperti nyanyian dalam hatiku

Yang memanggil rinduku padamu

Seperti udara yg kuhela kau selalu ada

Hanya dirimu yg bisa membuatku tenang

Tanpa dirimu aku merasa hilang

Dan sepi

Dan sepi

Selalu ada

Kau selalu ada

Selalu ada

Kau selalu ada

Percubaan ke sejuta.

Tipulah kalau dalam life ni kita tak pernah mengata belakang orang. Tak kisahlah buruk atau jahat. Sedikit sebanyak, mesti ada. Walaupun kita takde niat nak mengata. Kdg2 kita saja nak bercerita.

Aku ? Salah satu pengata terhebat kowt. Haha, aku bukannya jenis yg dapat cerita dr mulut ni mulut tu. Kdg2 aku terdengar org duk gossip2 belakang aku. So dr situ aku tahu yg dia ni dgn dia ni bergaduh rupanyaa... Haa cmtulah. Sekian maklum, mengata ni berdosa besar. Jatuh fitnah. Selagi org yg diperceritakan tu tak maafkan kita, sampai bila stay dlm neraka tak keluar2. Nauzubillah. Tapi kita masih tetap melakukannya.

Aku pernah rasa mcm mana bila kita ditembak dgn mcm2 kata tohmahan dr org. Teruk sgt. Hina bebenor kita ni. Mentang2 aku diamkan diri..Aku tak pandai melawan bila org mrh aku. Lg2 kawan. Tk tergamak rasanya nak bls blk mrh2 dgn dorg. Api dgn api kang tak jadi apa betul tak ?

Ada satu situasi ni. Sorry to say, aku tak boleh lupa sampai bila bila. Sedih, terhina. Aku diamkan je benda ni dlm hati. Aku tak sedar yg aku rupanya mcm memendam rasa sampai satu hari.. Aku rasa aku dah tak kesah dgn apa dorg nk ckp. Terus terang, PERGI MAMPUS lah kau nak ckp apa. Benda dah lepas nak bawak naik lagi. Aku sebut nama kau pun tak. Yg kau nak tembak lg pehal ? Kau dh takde modal peluru dah ke ? Kau sendiri pernah ada kisah hitam zaman jahiliah kau kan ? Ada aku kecoh ke ? Kalau aku duk jual cerita org pun. Aku tak sentuh kau, so itu bukan urusan kau langsung.

Kalau kau boleh anggap yang semua org ada perasaan, ada harga diri, hormat semua, kenapa kau tak boleh buat benda yg sama ? Apa aku buat jd salah je kat mata kau. Sakit hati kau tahu tak ? Kau bagi aku tekanan plg hebat masa tu, serious talk lah ex-friend. Kau mmg hebat. TAHNIAH. NAK PIALA ?

Aku maafkan kau. Kau takyah mintak maaf pun takpe. Aku tak batak pun maaf kau. Yg aku tahu, aku dah mintak maaf kat kau. So settle. Kau sana, aku sini. Kalau boleh aku nak jauh lagi. Even aku ni mmg teruk lg drpd kau, bg org lain tapi aku ada hidup aku sendiri yg kau tak perlu tahu, yg kau mmg tak tahu. Cuma jujurlah, aku dah cuba lupakan peristiwa hitam tu sedaya upaya aku tapi aku tak boleh. Sorry to say, aku tak boleh. Aku dah try.

I'll carry you home tonight

Give me a second I

I need to get my story straight

My friends are in the bathroom

Getting higher than the Empire State

My lover she's waiting for me

Just across the bar

My seats been taken by some sunglasses

Asking bout the scar

And I know I gave it to you months ago

I know you're trying to forget

But between the drinks and subtle things

The holes in my apologies

You know I'm trying hard to take it back

So if by the time the bar closes

And you feel like falling down

I'll carry you home

Tonight we are young

So lets set the world on fire

We can burn brighter

Than the Sun

I'm so lonely Broken Angel

This is the first time ever I heard a love song that is so so so romantic, sad and not annoying. It is the greatest MV ever ! I can really feel the pain inside it. Behind the lyrics, the melody, the video, all in it ! Bravo !

I'm so lonely broken angel
I'm so lonely listen to my heart
What a lonely broken angel
Come and save me before I fall apart

I'll be lying if I say that this song is not telling about someone.
I dedicated this song for Shahrul Anuar.
Because at the moment he went back home, he had to leave me.
This song were playing that time.
After he went, I opened my wardrobe and find his shirt.
I hugged his shirt and swear I can really feel him in my arms.
Yes, this is the first time distance separated us apart.
For 3 months, I've been together with him everyday.
For the first time, distance killing me inside.
I feel it until now.
And he moment you read this, he is already beside me now.
At this time, he is on his way from Perak.
Just to see me and stay with me until Sunday.

Ich Liebe Dich Sayang.

Happy Birthday My Sweet Shahida

She was born on May 16th 1995. After calculation, she is 17 now. She is 17 today. Happy birthday sweetheart. May Allah bless you.

I am very proud of who you are now. You are a very independent, very patience, very loving yet strict and stick to what you believe. When ever you asked me " Don't you love me ? " I avoided your question with my annoying face, trying to make you believe that your asked was annoyed me. The truth is, I don't. I love you. Since you were born. I gave everything I had for you. My toys. My money. My food. My attention. My knowledge. Everything. I cannot say I love you for many times everyday. You are not my lover. I admit I am very awkward if I say my love to my family. But don't get me wrong. I've showed to you how much I love you, I protect you.

Still remember the days you wanted my toys and Mommy said, don't take mine, you have yours but you were so hard headed. You took my toy and you threw it away. It was broken and it was my favorite toy that time Never mind, I wasn't angry at all. I don't know why.

Still remember the day I came back home for my semester break and you cried on our room ? Someone you trust broke your trust and you told me about it. I didn't say anything. Indeed, I wanted to see that stupid guy and settle the business. I WON'T EVER EVER LET ANYONE HURT YOU WITHOUT KNOWING THE TRUTH. I'LL KILL THEM FOR YOU LIKE SERIOUSLY.

You told me that you really loves plane and jet. You wanted to fly the jet. You really want to join TUDM. You have my support. 100% support. No worries sissy.

You have my protection, attention and affection until my last breathe, until my last blood. I'm sorry because I can never say I love you. I can't because I can only show it. I can only show it. You'll know it one day when you're adult enough. That is why I forgive you for not understanding what I do for you.

Happy Birthday MY SISTER.

Facebook to Twitter

Do you  have facebook ? I have one. Actually more than one but I forgot all my passwords so I just focuses on one account. My FB name is Nur Jaszianatul Ain. My hobby while I'm facebooking is I love to post everything I feel. No matter its personal or not, I'll post it on my wall. I don't post much. Just one status for every 5 minutes. Is that so bad ? Hihihi.. DAMN BAD.

Friends are usually hate me bcs of this. They will always say.. Sara, you need a twitter like seriously. Some of them, Sara baik kau buat twitter. Honestly, I don't know what is twitter and its function. For a few months afterwards, I tried to search on the internet and sign up for twitter. I did. When I've use it, I found it very useful for a person who loves to tell everything for every second of her life like me. :D

I tell this and that. Everything. I found him. I hate him. I was angry. I was happy. I was at everywhere I went. Tweet tweet tweet. I confess, I was addicted to Twitter so much. I can't even stop tweeting while I'm eat. Bcs I can tell every time everywhere everything. BUT there is one thing about twitter that I don't really like is, I can only type less than 140 letters. 

I ignored FB for a thousand years. I don't care about it. I was very rarely log in to my FB account bcs I have twitter now. Especially when you have a lot of things to say on twitter. I don't know about others but if 9 friends like my status, I feel more honored if 9 followers RT/Fav my tweets. Some of people saying that if people nowadays don't have a twitter acc, they are lame, they are noob, they are old school, old fashioned.. something not updated. I don't think so. It is up to anyone to have what they want to have. You can't say like that. 

Whats the point of you having twitter that you think is so updated but your tweets are so lame ? Right ? :)

[ I like FB more actually now ]

Assignment Oh !

For certain reasons, I found that doing homework is much much easier than doing assignment. Obviously it does. Well, that is just my opinion. I don't know how you interpret homework and assignments. But this is mine.

Homework is when you get ones from you schools. SCHOOLS! You must have teachers to have homework. There is no homework without teachers. It is usually easy and must be dine by tonight, send by tomorrow before the teacher enters the classroom. Bhahaha. -,-"

Homework usually gave at the end of the class day. It will be like this.

The bell ringing telling that the class is over. Then the teacher will say " Class, this is your homework "

Why is it so hard for you to let us go ? Can't it be a day without homework, can it ? URghhhhh

Assignments. Well well well.... You just have to send it by a few weeks from the day you get one. You have plenty of times to get it done BUT !! You must know..... It is ASSignments. See that ?? ASSignment !!

Yeah you will start to procrastinate. Me neither always think.. I still have few weeks, two more weeks, I week, Ohh shut up !! One more day ??? Like seriously ? Are you F-ing kidding me??!! Oh my. I'm dead.

I like last minute work. Honestly, because Idk. I'm more clever when I became something " gelabah " when I have works to do. Suddenly I can finish the works within few hours. Not to say its good but at least, there are minor error. Alhamdulillah. :)

Frankly, when I'm doing my assignment, I realized, totally realized that homework is nothing compared to assignment. It is damn easy ! So easy. Eventhough I'll have to send it by tomorrow, but still. Its not this hard. When I failed some, I must redo to get better marks. Must do it. Because you know why  ? Bcs it is your carry mark dumbass. If you get less, your final won't really help you, trust me, it won't. And your pointer will get lower. You will faced problems to the next semester. You won't get loan if you did apply. Your cgpa must be above 2.5 if you're qualified to graduate. See how hard it is to live in university ? I'm not sure if you understand when you read this but.. If you are one of them, like me, you'll understand.

UNISEL

Unisel. A place full with politic issues, murder cases, suicide things, a lot of problematic problems. Before I stepped into this place, I wondered that maybe this will be the best place ever. You know.. You are in a university now. So adult, so matured. So cool. This is what I called as Senior Year.

On my first semester, it was great though. Found new housemates who are now my best friends. Found new things. Teacher no more, it is lecturer now. No uniform, just a casual wear for class. I honestly like the place. It is big enough for me to go for a walk, green, lakes, palm trees. But actually, it is not that big. Because I already in for the sixth semester now. So when I walk around Unisel, its not that big like the first time I had. I have to admit, I hate Unisel like so serious. I dislike it. I cursed the place. Because there are a lots of problems that I've heard about it and some of them happened to me. The management is so slow sometimes. I don't know how to explain but yeahh.. Unisel does irritates me, annoys me much. But THAT WAS BEFORE.

In Unisel, I found you, you and you. Oh him too ! Her , I shall not forget.

I have a lots of names in my head. Each of them, curved the best memories in my heart. Thousand sadness, a million happiness they shall gave me. Its not just about friendships and loves. They taught me life. They taught me how to forget your sadness. It is by crying till you sleep. They taught me how to love. It is by forgetting what you hates. They taught me how to fight. It is by smiling to your haters. How did your friends taught you life ?

Sorry. I'm not telling you about Unisel. I'm not telling you about my friends. I'm not telling you about my life. I'm telling about what is in there. It doesn't matter Unisel or any other places in the whole world. It is about what is in there. There, what you feel about it. Well, I love it now. Even though it was so bad, I've learned so much.